Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
me + whiskey = a bad person
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
