I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I would fuck him just for his dog
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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