Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
