Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
