I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
