is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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