we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
