So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
