Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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