Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
