Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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