the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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