Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
