do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
