Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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