I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
