I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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