Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
