Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
