I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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