we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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