i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
