You can't motorboat a personality
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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