party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
