just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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