cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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