I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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