The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
