That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
