you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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