I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
