apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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