idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
