So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
