I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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