Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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