oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
