My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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