I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize