So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
