so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
