So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
