ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
