home. puking in laundry basket.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
