don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
