the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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