well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
