I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
