Need sex. Gaining weight.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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