What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Small penises have feelings too.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
