I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
