Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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