I need to stop coming to work sober
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its liver damage thursday
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
