i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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