He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
