Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
