K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
